


The Punch Line

by pinheaded



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, harlivy - Freeform, hivy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 13:46:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10537734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinheaded/pseuds/pinheaded
Summary: Three weeks ago, it had started off the same as always. Like every other night the Joker got to be too much, Harley showed up at her doorstep with nothing but the clothes on her back and mascara running down her cheeks.





	

**  
  
  
**Poison Ivy woke up to an empty space next to her in bed. She frowned, reaching her arm out to feel the area where Harley had been when she fell asleep. It was still warm. This wouldn’t be the first time Harley snuck off in the middle of the night to make amends with Joker. Actually, this would probably the first time she _hadn’t_. Harley always returned to Joker; she’d run to Ivy when the heat of a moment was too hot to tolerate and run back to him when she started feeling cold again, slapping Ivy like a rubber band to the heart every time. 

Over the years, Ivy had learned to tune out Harley’s promises of never going back. She let the sound waves turn to dust before they could ever reach her, before they could find their way through her armor’s cracks and into her head. Harley’s words had a way of disabling her logical reasoning process, which, in Ivy’s opinion, was a power far more deadly than any poison she could ever produce.

  


Three weeks ago, it had started off the same as always. Like every other night the Joker got to be too much, Harley showed up at her doorstep with nothing but the clothes on her back and mascara running down her cheeks. It had stopped raining over an hour ago, but her hair was soaked, hanging from her pigtails in thick, uneven clumps like yellow Play-Doh pasta. _How long had she been outside?_ As if she’d heard the question, Harley said, “I walked.” 

Ivy pulled her inside, leaving her in the living room while she went to grab a towel. She came back to find Harley standing exactly where she’d left her. She wasn’t crying, just sort of swaying back and forth like a little kid, gazing at nothing. With Harley in the light, Ivy noticed the splotches of blood on her light blue t-shirt. She almost gasped but stopped herself in time.

“Let me see,” Ivy said, dropping the towel onto the floor as she moved towards Harley. She pulled the t-shirt up to reveal a few scratches, but nothing too bad- certainly nothing bad enough to account for all of the blood.

“Alright, Daffodil. I have a bath running for you right now. We’re gonna get you cleaned up, okay?”  
Harley nodded. Still that gaze, eyes glassy and lips parted. Ivy led her to the bathroom and helped her undress. Harley stood on the bath mat, naked and unmoving like her conscious was flying high above the walls around her.

“Are you going to get in? Let’s get in, okay?” 

Harley moved forward and sat down in the tub, obedient and incurious. She said nothing, just examined Ivy like she was another one of the pretty paintings on the bathroom wall. _Had he hit her on the head?_

Ivy wet a washcloth and began washing Harley like a mother would, taking special care to work around her wounds. She watched Harley’s face for any signs that she may be in pain but saw none. Not that this was surprising. Even if something _did_ hurt, she doubted Harley would’ve noticed in her current state. She seemed to barely know Ivy was real. 

“Come on, Daffodil,” Ivy said softly as she wrung the washcloth out and set it on the side of the tub. “Time to get out.” She helped her out and wrapped her in a towel, slipping the top corners under Harley’s fingers; but her fingers were so loose, the towel fell right through them, flapping to the ground. She just watched it fall. 

Ivy swallowed the surge of annoyance that came up her throat: she could only play doting mother for so long. She was about to scold her for being so ridiculous, but something-or the _lack_ of something- in Harley’s face made her pause and count to ten. Instead of yelling, she picked the towel up and started to dry Harley. _Patience is a virtue. Patience it a virtue. Patience is a virtue._

Once she’d gotten Harley dressed into one of her t-shirts, Ivy walked them both over to the couch. 

“Harl, I need you to tell me what happened,” she said gently.

The words slid a faint frown across Harley’s forehead, but a second later it had faded. She made no attempt to respond. She wasn’t ignoring Ivy: she had simply let go of her. 

Exasperated, Ivy decided to take a break before she ripped her own head off. “I’m going to go make us some tea. I’ll be right back.” She stood and was about to walk away when she felt a hand grasp her wrist. She instinctively tried to shake it off, but Harley held on like she was falling. 

“ _No._ Don’t go.” For a moment, Harley was vivid, blazing at the heart of the room. Then she switched it off, deliberately. Her mouth had gone slack again. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.” Ivy sat down, unsure of what to do. She didn’t know how long they sat in the silence, Harley resting on it like a hammock, Ivy staring intently at her fingers as they drummed against her thigh. When she finally looked up, she saw tears sliding down Harley’s cheeks. Harley didn’t seem to notice that she was crying; there wasn’t a budge in that sweet, peaceful face. 

“Oh, Daffodil,” Ivy said, bringing her hand up to Harley’s cheek and thumbing away at the tears. 

“Red…” She sounded sad. Not scared, not angry, nothing. Just so sad.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” 

A sudden catch of breath that rose Harley’s chest. “He said you were dead,” she said quietly on the trembling breath out.”He-he said he killed you. He said-” Her voice cracked and she began to sob in terrible, disgusting gulps. 

“He said that he was going to make me a romantic dinner for our anniversary. I was so excited. I- He said he cooked it with love, just for me, but when he put the plate in front of me-” She struggled to get the words as her stomach seized violently, tears and snot falling rapidly off of her chin. 

“It was your _hair,_ Red, so much of your hair. It was all bloody and crunchy and- and I just _held_ it…” Harley curled her fingers into fists and brought them to her chest.

Ivy said nothing, just sat there stiffer than rigamortis. 

“He just started laughin’ at me till there were tears in his eyes. I’d never seen him laugh so hard. And-and he told me the funniest part of the joke-the punchline- would be when I went to see you again and pretended you were still alive, saw you even though you weren’t there.” Harley twisted away from Ivy and folded in half like a punch to the gut. 

“Harley,” Ivy said, so softly. “Come here.” 

Harley moved towards her voice, hands reaching, and buried her head into Ivy’s chest. Ivy’s arms folded around her heaving shoulders like wings, drawing tighter. They stayed like this, glued to one another like a finished puzzle, until Harley’s sobs tapered off. 

“If this is real, I’ll never leave again. Never ever. Not for as long as I live. God, please, let this be real,” Harley whispered. For that split second, she sounded like Harleen again. 

_Dust dust dust._ But Ivy couldn’t keep the words out, no matter how hard she tried.

“It’s real, Harley. I’m real.”

  


Ivy swallowed, hard, as she remembered. A sharp pain shot through her stomach.What the hell had she been thinking? Of _course_ Harley wouldn’t stay. She never did. She never would. 

Ivy pushed against the hollowness that had settled in her chest. Her insides felt battered and bruised. She was such a fucking _idiot_ -

“Red?” Harley was standing in the doorway, swinging the door back and forth.

“I think I peed on your floor. I’m real sorry. I swear I didn’t mean to. I was havin’ one of those dreams where you really have to pee and you’re lookin’ everywhere for a toilet but can’t find one. Ever had one of those? Yeah, well, I finally found one, and I was _so_ relieved. I sat right down, but the next thing I know I’m not on a toilet: I’m outta bed and peein’ on the carpet. I musta sleep walked or somethin’.” 

Ivy’s heart swelled to the point of bursting. _She stayed._ Her eyes filled with tears.   


“Wait, Red? Are you cryin’? Oh, I’m _so_ sorry, Red. I didn’t mean to! Please don’t cry! I’ll clean it up!” 

Ivy laughed, wiping the tears of relief spilling over onto her cheeks. 

“No need to mark your territory, Daffodil,” Ivy said, walking over to where Harley stood and cupping her cheeks. “Really. I’m all yours.” 

Harley giggled and leaned forward to break the space in between them, lips parted. She was about to close her eyes when Ivy broke away. 

“Harl? Why are you all wet? You look like you just took a shower with all of your clothes on.” 

Harley looked down at her night shirt to find that she _was_ all wet. 

“Harley! _Harley!_ ” Harley spun around, alarmed. 

“Selina?” 

“Thank _God.”_ Selina Kyle set the bucket in her hands onto the floor and sighed. “Who are you talking to?” 

“Ivy,” Harley said. Ivy smiled at her sadly. She wove her fingers through Harley’s hair, lifted it gently so that it fell strand by strand. 

“Come on, Harley. Let’s go take your meds,” Selina said, eyes wide with concern.

“No. I don’t want to take my meds. She doesn’t talk to me when I take my meds.” 

“Harley…” Ivy said, moving her lips to touch Harley’s arm. “You need to take your medication. Please.” 

Harley’s bottom lip began to quiver as Ivy raised a hand to her cheek.

“You lied, Red. You said you were real.” 

Harley’s eyes closed as they moved closer together, faces tilting, lips opening. 

“I know, Daffodil. I’m sorry. I wish I were.” 

“Harley, please,” Selina said with urgency. 

“Okay. I’ll take them.” A little hiccup. 

Selina reached into her purse and pulled out a Ziplock baggie. 

“Do you need water?” Selina asked as she dumped the pills onto Harley’s outstretched palm. 

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m gonna call Dr. Leland, alright? Everything is going to be okay, Harley. I promise.” Selina smiled kindly, like a grown-up giving a child a candy so they’d stop crying.   


Harley took one last look at Ivy before bringing the pills to her mouth. As she swallowed, she watched Ivy drift off into the light like the dust motes. 

What a terrible, _terrible_ punch line. 


End file.
